Here's the Story, of a lovely lady..

Testimony Time. I was born in Pensacola, Florida three years after my older brother, Timothy. My Father worked for the power company, as an electrical engineer, and a bivocational song minister at our church. My Mom was a stay at home Mom. I heard the word of the Lord many many times. I knew I was a sinner and was going to die and go to hell, if I did not get saved. I saw the pain my sin brought. At the age of 10 years old, after I heard Bro. Don Neese preach the Gospel Message, I walked forward with faith and was saved. My church only had 55 members. My brother and I, along with three other sets of brothers and sisters were the only youth. Life continued, but I for the life of me could not understand that if I was a Christian, how come I had no peace, no joy, or contentment. I struggled with self control. My church was a Landmark Faithway Missionary Baptist Church, full of free will and don'ts, but not a whole lot of fruit. I do not say this to blame anyone or to judge, just trying to tell my story and the things I observed as a child. I do not want to be disrespectful or dishonor anyone. Racism, anger, and fear were some of the things I saw through the actions of some of the adults.


So at the young age of ten I tried to tell everyone about God, and to witness to them. My best friend got saved a year later, after I begged her to give her life to the Lord. I'm not sure the way I witnessed was the best way. Then I entered Middle School and High School with people who lived quite differently. I was struggling to stay true to my childlike faith, but did not know how to really live out my faith. I was anxious and sad, and tired of all the fighting, fear, prejudices and judgement against others. I found that I could not produce enough perfection to live the legalistic life I was living, and wanted desperately to be accepted by my peers. I was struggling with major emotional issues, and no one knew how to help me. Not my pastor or my family. I did the best I could to deal with the emotional pain in my life, and to meet others' expectations. I saw my Father, Mother, and brother excel at so many things, and I just felt anxious, exhausted and overwhelmed. I loved the Lord, but struggled greatly with how to live a life pleasing to him. I read my Bible and prayed, but nothing got better in my life. I started to believe, that maybe I was not saved to begin with. So I quit trying at everything and resolved to just be happy. I did a lot of things that make me sad today, and that I pray a hedge of protection around my niece and nephew. I do not wish that life for anyone, but I just wanted to be relaxed, content, and not in pain. Stay tuned, there is a purpose for me telling you this. It gets better, WAY better. :)